The most important part of the law of attrAction is the word, "Action."
It's also the hardest part for our brains, which are total energy hogs (they use more than twenty percent of our total energy resources even though they weigh in at less than two percent of our total body weight!).
To stop our brains from using any more energy than absolutely necessary, we become "ourselves," (our personalities, quirks, likes and dislikes) and stay that way, for a lifetime. In addition, our creative neural pathways grow dormant as we age; without steady practice, we don't have access to the creative abilities necessary for positive change.
One of the most reliable ways to break through the thought barrier of "that's just the way I've always been" (and to re-engage creativity as your ally in positive change efforts) is to practice actions that would not normally be taken by someone with "your" personality. ( at last expert count, we only use about 10% of the ways of being available to us at any moment, boxed in by the idea that "we are the way we are")
If you are an introvert, consider doing something that you imagine only an extrovert would try; if you are a compulsive neat freak, leave your bed unmade for one day. If you are always the leader, try sitting in the back row at your next meeting.
These small changes, practiced deliberately over time, strengthen the mental muscles( which are mostly outside of your awareness) that enable positive change.
Research proves that people who periodically disengage from their habitual personality traits experience improvements in their ability to lose weight and keep it off and to make other positive changes in their life. (This occurred even when the participants did not intend to lose weight; in effect, the research subjects developed unconscious competence. Without any will power or plans, they found themselves gifted with the ability to stop eating when they were full, and engage in other healthy habits without so much effort, no longer slaves to an incompetent subconscious mind.)
This disengagement from your tried and true self is exhausting for your brain, so it is a good idea to find an accountability partner or two- you can plan your actions, then text reminders to each other to do the things that you said you would do. (an introvert might engage in 10 minutes of tortuous cold calling, an athlete might spend an afternoon relaxing on the couch.)
(Special note: If you are addicted to the thing you are trying to change ( drugs, alcohol, anger, food, etc) you might not ever achieve unconscious competence, meaning that you will need to engage in support and accountability for a lifetime to stay on track.)
Remember, you are not trying to improve your ability to cold call, or to listen during a meeting with this new practice. You are just developing the awareness that you CAN do things differently. You are exercising) new "muscles" ( neural pathways) in your brain.
Chances are, you won't ever be "good" at cold calling if you are an introvert, or turn into a neat freak if you are "creative"( aka sloppy- ha ha) like me, but your brain will get better at enabling you to make choices that honor YOU, rather than your current personality choice.
You won't notice unconscious competence ( it is unconscious!):-that's why accountability is crucial in the "beginning." ( for me, the beginning is usually two to five years, rather than two to five weeks!)
Over time, with disciplined practice, you will notice a new, deep, satisfactory freedom making it's way into your life - you will be free to be the you that you choose, rather than the you that you are, and actions that seemed impossible in the past, will seem to magically become do-able, even for someone "like you."
Have a day filled to the brim with freedom of choice, joy and love.
Onward!
Thank you for reading.
Mary