When I opened my cabinet for the extra-aromatic olive oil (scent matters!), I saw the prayer that I wrote in chalk on the inside of this cabinet:
(The whole prayer is here)
That micro second pause brought back my mindfulness and I became aware of something that for me, was life-changing. In therapy, I am getting to know the different parts of myself, some of which were oppressed by trauma, and some of which were exaggerated into self-sabotage with unhealthy risk-taking and impulsive choices. I’ve learned that the person who says hello to her dog in that totally reassuring, unconditionally loving person with all the time in the world way is ME, and she’s always available when I need her.
In that moment with the cabinet open, I remembered this, and thought “ah, I can tap into that reassurance right now”.
I noticed that part of me felt worried, embarrassed and anxious. Part of me felt excited and happy to see these dear friends, and part of me felt surprisingly confident. (one thing I know I can do is make food taste really good)
My reassuring nurturing nature took over and the rest of the evening was simply divine. Everyone really enjoyed themselves and the conversation was easy and deep.
When one of my guests said “Oh, this place makes me want to totally redo my house”, I thought, WOW. This therapy stuff really works.