Setting the Scene" For a Great Sunday Night and a Happy Monday Morning
About 400 years ago near Halloween, when my son was a kindergartener, I was cleaning off my front porch to get ready for our annual decoration extravaganza. My mom would always come over and watch the kids with me; We went all out with fog makers, etc. (by the way, how can that be over already??- what I would give to have one more minute with my mom and my 5 year old!")
Tyler Lewke stopped by and asked me what I was doing. When I responded that I was getting ready to decorate, he said something that changes my life for the better whenever I remember it. (which is not a common occurence- ha ha).
"Mary, set the scene FIRST, then clean. That way, the cleaning is so much easier because there's a scene to maintain. I do that wherever Jorian throws her stuff and it works like a charm. I have scenes everywhere, so it's hard to make a mess." (If you browse through his pictures on Facebook, you'll "see" that he means what he says.)
You can translate this idea of setting the scene first into many areas of your life. If you're setting up a new space, hang the pictures FIRST and set up your music so you can enjoy the unpacking tasks - even if you plan on painting or re-doing the floors later, hanging that artwork or those pictures of your loved ones often makes it easier to do the tedious tasks involved with moving or re-doing a space. If you're cleaning your kitchen, take the time to put on some excellent music, or write down your reward for accomplishing this task before you start. (writing things down has an effect on your brain chemistry unlike other ways of planning - the tactile effect of writing enhances the flood of productive neuro-chemicals).
These activities allow for more productive use of your time by activating the executive, organizational and motivational functions of your brain.
This idea of setting the scene can also be used to avoid the Sunday night "dread" that many of us feel as we look forward to the busy workweek ahead.
Most experts estimate that more than 80% of the enjoyment of a trip or a getaway happens during the anticipation and the planning phase, up until the last day or so. Most of us find the day before, or the day of our trip stressful as we become aware of all the tasks that we are leaving undone at home and begin to feel guilt or pressure about taking time off.
We do usually manage to leave, though, and have plenty of fun, but we often feel stress again on the last day of the trip as we plan to be overwhelmed upon our return. The first day home is often not all that great after the immediate good feeling of "home at last" (sometimes another not so healthy part of the stress/relief cycle)
This stomach-tightening feeling right before the beginning and the end of a trip is the result of the same brain chemical cascade that causes Sunday night and Monday morning dread. You can stop this bad chemical bath by setting aside time on Sunday to plan for some fun or even some household tasks that you really want to complete the next weekend BEFORE you plan for the workweek.
As you get ready for bed on Sunday night, review those plans for the next weekend as a way of giving your brain some anticipatory pleasure, rather than mind-dumbing and numbing doses of dread or anxiety about all the work you have to do.(and sometimes all the stuff at home that you didn't get done over the weekend).
This is how you can "set the scene" for a better workweek and a better weekend. (and most definitely a better Sunday evening!) You can lessen the stress of your trips as well, by taking time on the day BEFORE you leave to plan something you enjoy for the day AFTER your return (even if it's just a good cup of coffee on your way to work, or a conversation with a close friend on your way home), or even better, plan for the weekend after you return, (even if it's just "I am going to totally relax on Friday night after my first week back at work, or, " I am going to bake something too delicious for anyone to resist", like my incredibly talented designer friend, Christina Dittmer)
This way, your brain will be occupied with pleasant thoughts about the end and the afterward of the trip rather than the more severe highs and lows that occur with our natural stress/relief cycle. (Monks sometime describe our breath as a form of this stress/relief cycle - Stress at the end of an exhale as our body runs out of air, then relief at the beginning of our inhale as our body receives life-giving oxygen, then stress at the end of your exhale again as your body feels the need to expel the air, etc. The cure for this unconscious "background anxiety" is meditation and breath awareness- according to many monks AND scientists.)
By using, rather than fighting, our natural inclination to forecast and imagine the future in our favor, we will naturally become more aware of the always available stress-free present moment.
We can become measurably happier by making an effort to notice when we are planning or imagining the impossible tasks ahead, and change our focus to an idea for some activity that we will enjoy after we finish these tasks (or return from that trip). (A tight stomach, a hot flush or a feeling of overwhelm are some indicators that we might benefit from a change of focus before we move on to the next activity, especially if that next activity is going to bed or getting out of bed- these are critical times for "setting the scene" in your brain.)
When we set the scene for fun or the satisfactory feeling of completion in our brain, we are less likely to leave a depressive or anxious mess in there as we move through our day-to-day routines. With a brain flooded with energizing happy-making chemicals, our plans for the workday, house cleaning and other tasks will be far more effective as well.
I know this post is a little lengthy, but I am enjoying myself as I write it while I sip a lovely cup of tea, just as I planned at the beginning of my deadline- driven workday this morning. (Friday).
Thanks for reading my post.
Mary