The Buddha or the God within ( if you are not engaged in a religious or spiritual practice, you can think of this as the wisest and most compassionate part of us) is real. We all have it, but when we are feeling fear or anxiety or even elated excitement, our physiology takes over and causes us to feel as if our whole self is fearful, anxious or excited. This mindfulness is not easy to manage, or uncover; It takes a long time to discern when you are the most reassuring person, the most loving friend, the most calming influence, or the most confident encourager.

It’s best to choose uncomplicated relationships to start. A pet is often easiest. Just stop and recall how it feels to be an unconditionally loving being to your dog, for example. (The primary gift, in my humble opinion, of dog ownership is the way that a dog tends to bring out the best in us. Of course, this is the opposite if you don’t like dogs, but I just can’t understand that– ha ha.)

I find it helpful to place mindfulness reminders (prayers, quotes or pictures that inspire me) in places that normally trigger a less pleasant feeling (my popcorn, chips and other not so great food choices are located in the cabinet with the prayer inside, and the set-aside prayer often stops me from grabbing too much).

This practice is really helpful for students with test taking-PART of me feels like she doesn’t know this stuff, or interviewing, PART of me is really nervous, and many other circumstances.